Dare to (Not) Compare: Check in Day Three

Well, this was interesting. I had anticipated not having a lot to say as I checked in, something along the lines of “well, I consciously didn’t compare yesterday and that was interesting . . . ”

Imagine my surprise yesterday when I was shown about a dozen images of very thin, idealized, media-saturated bodies in class and told to compare my own body to them, then rate my satisfaction with my own body. Interesting how I choose a week to consciously make an effort to appreciate myself without reference to other women, and I’m instructed to do that in a classroom setting.

Now, before we all go up in arms (as I surely would if I didn’t have the background), let me contextualize this. A faculty member in our psychology department came to my wellness class to talk about eating disorders–their classifications, risk factors, treatment, and preventative measures. To illustrate a research study done, she asked us to rate our bodies on a scale from one to ten and write it down. Then, we were shown a series of thin, idealized celebrity and model bodies and instructed to re-rate our satisfaction with our own bodies.

Because I simply looked at the images and tried my hardest to not comply with the instructions, my own “satisfaction” rating stayed constant (I did not write it down, but kept it mentally. The request to write it down made me uncomfortable).

It was a hard one for me to sit through as many of the harmful practices I have indulged in were described. Some of the images shown in the presentation could have been very triggering for someone who is just starring out in their pilgrimage to healing. While I think that there does need to be much more talk, dialogue, and education about these issues I’m not sure in what way. They need to be taken from shameful, stigmatized, dark places and brought to light: but in what setting, and how? I was very uncomfortable with the study re-enactment, but I wonder if I would have been as aware if the plan to not compare wasn’t my focus this week.

After three days of consciously avoiding comparison, I have noticed . . . a quietness. There is a stillness in my mind where there was an almost incessant, disparaging voice.

Have you noticed a change in the inner monologue? 
Have you experienced any educational measures about eating disorders? What did you think?  

Pit Stop Mondays

Happy Monday! What a great weekend. Saturday, I worked on a community garden, went for a run, went contra dancing and then to a party for more dancing! While I didn’t get a lot of sleep, I had fun. Gardening+dancing=best exercise EVER! Especially contra. I didn’t realize how physically active it was, but after a few dances I was sweating quite a bit.

Photo: Sean Green

Then, last night, I cooked several Oh She Glows  recipes with friends for a community dinner: red quinoa black bean salad and itty bitty carrot cake cookies. We also had garlic bread with earth balance and a huge salad with baby greens, apples, and other goodies. It was deliciously successful.

 

And on to a new feature, which I’m going to call Pit Stop Mondays on my pilgrimage to health. Based loosely on the happiness project, I plan to chronicle mini, one week endeavors intended to improve my emotional, physical, and spiritual health. They’ll serve as check-in points along the route. I have several in mind, involving finances, gratitude, activity, nutrition, and spiritual nourishment. I’m excited!

First on the agenda this week: No negative self talk or comparison to other people, including the person I once was. I talked about  this in my last post , and this week I am making a conscientious effort and refusing to compare myself. It’s been difficult all day. Now that I’m more aware of it, I notice how often I do compare myself with other people–it is an almost hourly occurance. Instead of being critical of those aspects of myself I don’t like, I use every temptation to compare to remind myself that I am beautiful and unique, and my body is healthy and strong.

How do you bite self-criticism in the butt? What did you do this past weekend for your health?